Showing posts with label A New Earth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A New Earth. Show all posts

Monday, June 13, 2011

Chapter 45: What do YOU think?

What do YOU think about the information Dr. Mark Hyman presents in this video?

It took about a year to make all of the changes my psychiatrist recommended at the Amen Clinic.  The dosages of my medications are stable now and I feel good!  The improvement was slow, steady, and subtle.  I have the desire to do things again.  I look forward to what I have planned each day when I wake up in the morning, instead of dreading it.  If you are new to my blog, Chapter 42 summarizes my road to recovery.

Chapter 42: FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT

This video was made before Dr. Hyman's book, The UltraMind Solution, was finished.  You know I think the book is great if you have read other chapters in my blog. =)   I think this book is a must read if you have depression symptoms.

In the video, Dr. Hyman talks about 7 things you can do to help improve depression symptoms.

1.  Try an anti-inflammation elimination diet and remove food allergens
2.  Check for hypothyroidism
3.  Treat vitamin D deficiency
4.  Take Omega 3 Fats
5.  Take adequate amounts of B12, Folate, and B6
6.  Check for mercury toxicity
7.  Exercise vigorously for 30 minutes, 5 times per week.

 Why Antidepressants Do Not Work For Treating Depression
Mark Hyman, M.D.




Dr. Hyman acknowledges that some people do not heal completely by using the UltraMind Solution.  In the "Special Considerations" section of the book, The UltraMind Solution, page 387, Dr. Hyman says:

When You Need Therapy

"Sometimes it is not a toxin, allergen, infection, or nutrient-poor diet that makes us depressed or mentally ill.  Sometimes it is just life itself---a divorce, childhood trauma, the death of a loved one, a crazy boss, or a major trauma.
     During those times in life, seeking help from a trained psychotherapist, a social worker, or even a personal coach can be lifesaving and may help guide you through troubled times.
     In traditional cultures, the family and social structure provided a container and meaning for all life's events.  Today, unfortunately, many of us are left alone to struggle through life's transitions and questions.  Getting support can help you heal and recover along with the UltraMind Solution."

When You Need Medication

"As a former emergency room physician, I recognize that extreme times call for extreme measures.  I use and support the intelligent, appropriate use of medication, including psychotropic medications when needed.  They can often be helpful as a bridge for recovery from all the stresses and toxins that affect our brain and mind.
     It may take months or years to heal from damage that has occurred over a lifetime.  In extreme cases, the damage may be so deep that full recovery is not possible using the UltraMind Solution (although most see remarkable results in a few weeks).  In some cases, combining medication with the tools of the UltraMind Solution can give people their lives back.
     Working with an experienced psychopharmacologist who welcomes the integration of nutrition, supplements, exercise, and mind-body therapies is sometimes a necessary step to recovering a whole life.
     Many times medications can be reduced or eliminated after applying the principles found in the UltraMind Solution."

I am one of "the cases" where combining medications with the tools of the UltraMind Solution gave me my life back.  Thank you Dr. Daniel Amen, and everyone at the Amen Clinic in Newport Beach, California.  The psychiatrist I worked with at the Amen Clinic was exceptional!  Thank you Dr. Mark Hyman for The UltraMind Solution.  I learned so much from the book and the changes I made to my diet and lifestyle helped me heal.  Thank you Eckhart Tolle for helping me change the way I think.  Reading the books, The Power of Now, and A New Earth, taught me to live in the moment.  Doing this brings me peace!

I am still saving my money to go to the The UltraWellness Center in Lennox, MA.  I need their help to find out if I could be off medications and still be free of depression symptoms, or if I am one of those people who will still need medication even if my body is balanced. 


Monday, April 11, 2011

Chapter 42: FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT

I would definitely describe the symptoms of depression as darkness.  To bring the light back in to my body and life has taken all of the following:

Trip to the Amen Clinic in Newport Beach, California:  a higher level of education to diagnose and treat my specific psychiatric disorders.  The SPECT brain scans provided information to help in prescribing medication that had the highest chance of being effective for me.

Chapter 1: Depression, Amen Clinics, Amino Acids
Chapter 2: Back to School, Father Died


Medications 

Generic Luvox:  50 mg morning 75 mg afternoon
Effexor XR:  112.5 mg morning
Generic Neurontin:  300 mg 4 times per day


Effexor XR 

Chapter 15: Clonazepam The Beast, Effexor XR 
Chapter 16: Effexor XR, Live My Life In The Now 
Chapter 19: Effexor XR, Enlightened Relationships 
Chapter 25: Effexor XR, $260.59 or $160.80 Every Month 
Chapter 35: FEELING SOME RELIEF, Antidepressant Medications 


Getting Off The Drug Clonazepam 

Chapter 12: I Hate Clonazepam, Supplements 
Chapter 15: Clonazepam The Beast, Effexor XR 


Supplements

Chapter 10: Detailed Treatment Plan 
Chapter 12: I Hate Clonazepam, Supplements 
Chapter 32: 6,000 mg Of Fish Oil A Day 


Fish Oil, Omega 3 Fatty Acids 6,000 mg Per Day 

Chapter 32: 6,000 mg Of Fish Oil A Day 


Raised My Vitamin D Level from 20 to 45, then to 72  

Chapter 29: Do you know what your Vitamin D level is?


Depression is a Disease  

Chapter 23: Angry At The Disease 
Chapter 24: Effexor XR, Please "Kick In" Soon
Chapter 31: Don't Stop Believing
Chapter 36: Blood Type & Diet, Healing Depression Symptoms 


Exercise & Endorphins

Chapter 33: Endorphins - Natural Morphine 


Reading the Books, The Power of Now, and A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.  Changing my thinking and living in the Now.

Chapter 5: A New Earth, Changing The Way I Think 
Chapter 6: Ego, Pain-Body, Live In The Present 
Chapter 14: Normal Day, The Power of Now  
Chapter 16: Effexor XR, Live My Life In The Now  
Chapter 18: "Fulfillment, Peace, Life in all its Fullness." 
Chapter 39: The Constant Chatter In My Mind Is Not Me 
Chapter 40: EGO 
Chapter 41: PAIN-BODY


Enlightened Relationships 

Chapter 19: Effexor XR, Enlightened Relationships  


Reading the Book, The UltraMind Solution, by Mark Hyman, M.D.  This led to food sensitivity testing and diet changes.

Chapter 7: Keys To UltraWellness, Food Sensitivity 
Chapter 12: I Hate Clonazepam, Supplements 
Chapter 21: Healing A "Broken Brain" 


The Link Between Inflammation and Depression 

Chapter 37: Treat INFLAMMATION Ease DEPRESSION?
Chapter 38: Depression and Inflammation ARE Linked 


Mercury Toxicity 

Chapter 26: Is Mercury Toxicity Causing Depression?
Chapter 27: Has the Mercury I Have Been Exposed to Caused Toxicity?




Saturday, April 2, 2011

Chapter 41: PAIN-BODY


This is the conversation my ego (E) and pain-body (PB) had this morning with my higher self (HS).  E & PB:  "Why do we have to wash the fry pan you cooked bacon in yesterday?  It's gross, the inch of fat has been sitting over 24 hours, it stinks and it has solidified into big chunks.  We don't even like bacon.  There is a TINY bit of meat on it and the rest is fat.  Fat isn't good for you and we don't think pork is even that good for you.  Why do you even buy it?  We think some one else should wash this pan."  HS:  "I think you are making a bigger deal out of this situation than it is.  Other family members love bacon, and sometimes I do things because people I love would like it.  We don't have it very often, and I did have one piece of bacon with breakfast yesterday.  I could ask someone else to wash the pan, but I would like to get it done now so the smell of bacon doesn't last too much longer.  This is not an important issue in my life."

"The greater part of most people's thinking is involuntary, automatic, and repetitive.  It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no real purpose.  Strictly speaking, you don't think:  Thinking happens to you.  The statement 'I think' implies volition.  It implies that you have a say in the matter, that there is choice involved on your part.  For most people, this is not yet the case.  'I think' is just as false a statement as 'I digest' or 'I circulate my blood.' Digestion happens, circulation happens, thinking happens."  Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, page 129

My heart and soul now understands and believes the information in the above paragraph.  I have to work at it every day, but I am now able to "catch", or observe my ego and pain-body when they have overtaken my thinking.  Sometimes my ego seems to be in control of the conversation, sometimes my pain-body is the culprit, and sometimes they join forces and become really obnoxious.  

When my ego or pain-body are in control they tell me things that are not true, are blown out of proportion, do not agree with my higher self, and many times remind me of what a child might say.  If I do not become Present and let my higher self stop the chatter, the conversation is often repeated over and over.  What they say can cause emotions that are based on a made up story and I begin to feel sad, angry, or depressed.  Making progress in helping my higher self be in charge of my mind and thinking is helping me feel better more of the time.  It is so hard for me and I have to practice every day.  I am not implying that I don't need antidepressant medication.  Changing my thinking helps the medication be more effective.

I think these are important points to know about the pain-body.  Taken from the book, A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.

1.  p. 135  EMOTIONS AND THE EGO

"The voice in the head tells a story that the body believes in and reacts to.  Those reactions are the emotions.  The emotions, in turn, feed energy back to the thoughts that created the emotion in the first place.   This is the vicious circle between unexamined thoughts and emotions, giving rise to emotional thinking and emotional story-making."

 2.  p. 136  EMOTIONS AND THE EGO

"Almost every human body is under a great deal of strain and stress, not because it is threatened by some external factor but from within the mind.  The body has an ego attached to it, and it cannot but respond to all the dysfunctional thought patterns that make up the ego.  Thus, a stream of negative emotion accompanies the stream of incessant and compulsive thinking."

 3.  p. 140  CARRYING THE PAST

"Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call "the pain-body." 

 4.  p. 141  CARRYING THE PAST

"We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught up in mental movie-making.  Our very Presence then becomes our identity, rather than our thoughts and emotions.

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?"

 5.  p. 142  INDIVIDUAL AND COLLECTIVE

"The remnants of pain left behind by every strong negative emotion that is not fully faced, accepted, and then let go of join together to form an energy field that lives in the very cells of your body.  It consists not just of childhood pain, but also painful emotions that were added to it later in adolescence and during your adult life, much of it created by the voice of the ego.  It is the emotional pain that is your unavoidable companion when a false sense of self is the basis of your life.

This energy field of old but sill very-much-alive emotion that lives in almost every human being is the pain-body."

 6.  p.142-143  INDIVIDUAL AND COLLECTIVE

"The pain-body, however, is not just individual in nature.  It also partakes of the pain suffered by countless humans throughout the history of humanity, which is a history of continuous tribal warfare, of enslavement, pillage, rape, torture, and other forms of violence.  This pain still lives in the collective psyche of humanity and is being added to on a daily basis, as you can verify when you watch the news tonight or look at the drama in people's lives."

7.  p. 144-145  HOW THE PAIN-BODY RENEWS ITSELF

"Any emotionally painful experience can be used as food by the pain-body.  That's why it thrives on negative thinking as well as drama in relationships.  The pain-body is an addiction to unhappiness.

In most people, the pain-body has a dormant and an active stage.  When it is dormant, you easily forget that you carry a heavy dark cloud or a dormant volcano inside you, depending on the energy field of your particular pain-body.  How long it remains dormant varies from person to person:  A few weeks is the most common, but it can be a few days or months.  In rare cases the pain-body can lie in hibernation for years before it gets triggered by some event."

 8.  p. 147  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON YOUR THOUGHTS

"Emotion from the pain-body quickly gains control of your thinking, and once your mind has been taken over by the pain-body, your thinking becomes negative.  The voice in your head will be telling sad, anxious, or angry stories about yourself or your life, about other people, about past, future, or imaginary events.  The voice will be blaming, accusing, complaining, imagining.  And you are totally identified with whatever the voice says, believe all its distorted thoughts.  At that point, the addiction to unhappiness has set in."

 9.  p. 148  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON DRAMA

"If there are other people around, preferably your partner or a close family member, the pain-body will attempt to provoke them---bush their buttons, as the expression goes---so it can feed on the ensuing drama.  Pain-bodies love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food."

10.  p. 149  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON DRAMA

"A deeply unconscious person whose pain-body habitually replenishes itself through physical violence often directs it toward his spouse or children. . . he is truly sorry and may say he will never do this again, and he means it.  The person who is talking and making promises, however, is not the entity that commits the violence, and so you can be sure that it will happen again and again unless he becomes present, recognizes the pain-body within himself, and thus disidentifies from it.  In some cases, counseling can help him do that."

11.  p. 151  DENSE PAIN-BODIES

"Some people carry dense pain-bodies that are never completely dormant.  They may be smiling and making polite conversation, but you do not need to be psychic to sense that seething ball of unhappy emotion in them just underneath the surface, waiting for the next event to react to, the next person to blame or confront, the next thing to be unhappy about.  Their pain-bodies can never get enough, are always hungry.  They magnify the ego's need for enemies."

12.  p. 153  ENTERTAINMENT, THE MEDIA, AND THE PAIN-BODY

"Why do violent films attract such large audiences?  There is an entire industry, a large part of which fuels the human addiction to unhappiness.  People obviously watch those films because they want to feel bad.  What is it in humans that loves to feel bad and calls it good?  The pain-body of course.  A large part of the entertainment industry caters to it.  So, in addition to reactivity, negative thinking, and personal drama, the pain-body also renews itself vicariously through the cinema and television screen.  Pain-bodies write and produce these films, and pain-bodies pay to watch them."

13.  p. 153-154  ENTERTAINMENT, THE MEDIA, AND THE PAIN-BODY

"If films show violence in its wider context, if they show its origin and its consequences, show what it does to the victim as well as the perpetrator, show the collective unconsciousness that lies behind it and is passed on from generation to generation (the anger and hatred that lives in humans as the pain-body), them those films can fulfill a vital function in the the awakening of humanity.

Such films do exist and they do not fuel the pain-body.  Some of the best antiwar films are films that show the reality of war rather than a glamorized version of it.  The pain-body can only feed on films in which violence is portrayed as normal or even desirable human behavior, or that glorify violence with the sole purpose of generating negative emotion in the viewer and so become a 'fix' for the pain-addicted pain-body."

14.  p. 155  THE COLLECTIVE FEMALE PAIN-BODY

"Nobody knows the exact figure because records were not kept, but is seems certain that during a three-hundred-year period between three and five million women were tortured and killed by the "Holy Inquisition," an institution founded by the Roman Catholic Church to suppress heresy. This surely ranks together with the Holocaust as one of the darkest chapters in human history.  It was enough for a woman to show love for animals, walk alone in the fields or woods, or gather medicinal plants to be branded a witch, then tortured and burned at the stake.  The sacred feminine was declared demonic, and an entire dimension largely disappeared from human experience."

15.  p. 156  THE COLLECTIVE FEMALE PAIN-BODY

"What is it that suddenly made men feel threatened by the female?  The evolving ego in them.  It knew it could gain full control of our planet only through the male form, and to do so, it had to render the female powerless.

In time, the ego also took over most women, although it could never become as deeply entrenched in them as in men."

16.  p. 157  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"Certain countries in which many acts of collective violence were suffered or perpetrated have a heavier collective pain-body than others.  This is why older nations tend to have stronger pain-bodies.  It is also why younger countries, such as Canada or Australia, and those that have remained more sheltered from the surrounding madness, such as Switzerland, tend to have lighter collective pain-bodies.  Of course, in those countries, people still have their personal pain-body to deal with."

17.  p. 158-159  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"Spiritual practices that involve the physical body, such as t'ai chi, qigong, and yoga, are also increasingly being embraced in the Western world.  These practices do not create a separation between body and spirit and are helpful in weakening the pain-body.  They will play an important role in the global awakening."

18.  p. 159-160  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"It doesn't really matter what proportion of your pain-body belongs to your nation or race and what proportion is personal.  In either case, you can only go beyond it by taking responsibility for your inner state now.  Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding the pain-body with your thoughts and remain trapped in your ego.  There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet:  human unconsciousness.  That realization is true forgiveness.  With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges---the power of Presence.  Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light."



Sunday, March 20, 2011

Chapter 40: EGO

I believe the writing of Eckhart Tolle on the subject of egos in his book, A New Earth, is profound.  Applying these teachings to my life have helped me heal depression symptoms this past year.  My thinking has changed.  What do you think?  Do you think changing your thinking can help depression?  Do you think these concepts are truth?

 1.  p. 59  Chapter 3  The Core of Ego

"Most people are so completely identified with the voice in the head---the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it---that we may describe them as being possessed by their mind.  As long as you are completely unaware of this, you take the thinker to be who you are.  This is the egoic mind."

2.  p. 61-62  COMPLAINING AND RESENTMENT

Complaining is one of the ego's favorite ways to strengthen itself, and resentment is the emotion that goes along with it.  Mental labeling of people adds even more energy to the ego. 

"Name-calling is the crudest form of such labeling and of the ego's need to be right and triumph over others:  jerk, bastard, bitch ---all definitive pronouncements that you can't argue with.  On the next level down on the scale of unconsciousness, you have shouting and screaming, and not much below that, physical violence."

3.  p. 63  COMPLAINING AND RESENTMENT

"Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put right."  This type of complaining desires change, the ego kind enjoys making someone wrong.

4.  p. 68  IN DEFENSE OF AN ILLUSION 

"Every ego confuses opinions and viewpoints with facts.  Furthermore, it cannot tell the difference between an event and its reaction to that event.  Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation.  Only through awareness--not through thinking---can you differentiate between fact and opinion."  The ego is strengthened by a sense of boundary, separateness, and superiority.

5.  p. 76  WAR IS A MINDSET  

"Recognize the ego for what it is:  a collective dysfunction, the insanity of the human mind.  When you recognize it for what is is, you no longer misperceive it as somebody's identity." 

6.  p. 77-78  BEYOND EGO:  YOUR TRUE IDENTITY 

"When the ego is at war, know that it is no more than an illusion that is fighting to survive.  That illusion thinks it is you.  It is not easy at first to be there as the witnessing Presence, especially when the ego is in survival mode or some emotional pattern from the past has become activated, but once you have had a taste of it, you will grow in Presence power, and the ego will lose its grip on you.  And so a power comes into your life that is far greater than the ego, greater than the mind.  All that is required to become free of the ego is to be aware of it, since awareness an ego are in compatible."

 7.  p. 79  BEYOND EGO:  YOUR TRUE IDENTITY

"What remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts, and feelings come and go.  That is Being, that is the deeper, true I.  When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance.  I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness.  The only thing that ultimately matters is this:  Can I sense my essential Beingness, the I Am, in the background of my life at all times?"  . . ."Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?" 

 8.  p. 79   ALL STRUCTURES ARE UNSTABLE

"Whatever form it takes, the unconscious drive behind ego is to strengthen the image of who I think I am, the phantom self that came into existence when thought---a great blessing as well as a great curse---began to take over and obscured the simple yet profound joy of connectedness with Being, the Source, God."

  9.  p. 79-80  ALL STRUCTURES ARE UNSTABLE

"Whatever behavior the ego manifests, the hidden motivating force is always the same:  the need to stand out, be special, be in control; the need for power, for attention, for more.  And, of course, the need to feel a sense of separation, that is to say, the need for opposition, enemies."

10.  p. 85  Chapter 4 Role-playing:  The Many Faces of the Ego

"An ego that wants something from another---and what ego doesn't---will usually play some kind of role to get its 'needs' met, be they material gain, a sense of power, superiority, or specialness, or some kind of gratification, be it physical or psychological.  Usually people are completely unaware of the roles they play.  They are those roles."

11.  p. 86  Role-playing:  The Many Faces of the Ego

"All you need to know and observe in yourself is this:  Whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that's the ego in you."

12.  p. 87  VILLAIN, VICTIM, LOVER

"The playing of negative roles becomes particularly pronounced whenever the ego is magnified by an active pain-body, that is to say, emotional pain from the past that wants to renew itself through experiencing more pain."

13.  p. 88  VILLAIN, VICTIM, LOVER

"What is commonly called 'falling in love' is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing.  You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person.  It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever."

14.  p. 89  LETTING GO OF SELF-DEFINITIONS 

"Only rare beings at the time, such as the Buddha or Jesus, saw the ultimate irrelevance of caste or social class, recognized it as identification with form and saw that such identification with the conditioned and the temporal obscured the light of the unconditioned and eternal that shines in each human being."

15.  p. 90-91  PRE-ESTABLISHED ROLES 

"What really matters is not what function you fulfill in this world, but whether you identify with your function to such an extent that it takes you over and becomes a role that you play.  When you play roles, you are unconscious.  When you catch yourself playing a role, that recognition creates a space between you and the role.  It is the beginning of freedom from the role."

16.  p. 95-96  HAPPINESS AS A ROLE VS. TRUE HAPPINESS 

"If there is unhappiness in you, first you need to acknowledge that it is there.  But don't say, 'I'm unhappy.'  Unhappiness has nothing to do with who you are.  Say: 'There is unhappiness in me.'  Then investigate it.  A situation you find yourself in may have something to do with it.  Action may be required to change the situation or remove yourself from it.  If there is nothing you can do, face what is and say, 'Well, right now, this is how it is.  I can either accept it, or make myself miserable'."

17.  p. 96  HAPPINESS AS A ROLE VS. TRUE HAPPINESS

"Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness."

18.  p. 98  PARENTHOOD:  ROLE OR FUNCTION?
 
"If their desire to control or influence the actions of their adult child is thwarted---as it usually is---they will start to criticize or show their disapproval, or try to make the child feel guilty, all in an unconscious attempt to preserve their role, their identity.  On the surface it looks as if they were concerned about their child, and they themselves believe it, but they are only really concerned about preserving their role-identity."

19.  p. 100  PARENTHOOD:  ROLE OR FUNCTION?

"My parents should approve of what I do.  They should understand me and accept me for who I am."  "Really?  Why should they?  The fact is they don't because they can't.  Their evolving consciousness hasn't made the quantum leap to the level of awareness yet.  They are not yet able to disidentify from their role."  . . ."What difference does their approval or disapproval truly make to who you are?  All such unexamined assumptions cause a great deal of negative emotion , much unnecessary unhappiness."

20.  p.101  CONSCIOUS SUFFERING 

"If you have young children, give them help, guidance, and protection to the best of your ability, but even more important, give them space---space to be.  They come into this world through you, but they are not 'yours.'  The belief 'I know what's best for you' may be true when they are very young, but the older they get, the less true it becomes.  The more expectations you have of how their life should unfold, the more you are in your mind instead of being present for them.  Eventually, they will make mistakes, and they will experience some form of suffering, as all humans do.  In fact, they may be mistakes only from your perspective.  What to you is a mistake may be exactly what your children need to do or experience."

21.  p. 102  CONSCIOUS SUFFERING 

"As long as you resist suffering, it is a slow process because the resistance creates more ego to burn up.  When you accept suffering, however, there is an acceleration of that process which is brought about by the fact that you suffer consciously." 

22.  p. 103  CONSCIOUS PARENTING

"Many children harbor hidden anger and resentment toward their parents and often the cause is inauthenticity in the relationship.  The child has a deep longing for the parent to be there as a human being, not as a role, no matter how conscientiously that role is being played.  You may be doing all the right things and the best you can for your child, but even doing the best you can is not enough.  In fact, doing is never enough if you neglect Being."

23.  p.106  GIVING UP ROLE-PLAYING

"To do whatever is required of you in any situation without it becoming a role that you identify with is an essential lesson in the art of living that each one of us is here to learn."

24.  p. 112  THE PATHOLOGICAL EGO

"Negativity is not intelligent.  It is always of the ego.  The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent.  Cleverness pursues its own little aims.  Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected."  . . ."Cleverness divides; intelligence includes."

25.  p.  114-115  THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

"Being at peace and being who you are, that is, being yourself, are one.  The ego says:  Maybe at some point in the future, I can be at peace---if this, that, or the other happens, or I obtain this or become that.  Or it says:  I can never be at peace because of something that happened in the past."  . . ."The ego doesn't know that your only opportunity for being at peace is now.  Or maybe it does know, and it is afraid that you may find this out.  Peace, after all, is the end of the ego." 

26.  p.  115  THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

"There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness:  One With Life.  Being one with life is being one with Now.  You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you.  Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."

27.  p. 120  PATHOLOGICAL FORMS OF EGO

"The collective ego of tribes, nations, and religious organizations also frequently contains a strong element of paranoia:  us against the evil others.  It is the cause of much human suffering."  (Spanish Inquisition, burning of heretics and witches, First & Second World Wars, Communism, "Cold War", McCarthyism, violent conflict in the Middle East)

28.  p. 120  PATHOLOGICAL FORMS OF EGO

"The more unconscious individuals, groups or nations are, the more likely it is that egoic pathology will assume the form of physical violence.  Violence is a primitive but still very widespread way in which the ego attempts to assert itself, to prove itself right and another wrong.  With very unconscious people, arguments can easily lead to physical violence."

29.  p.  121  WORK---WITH AND WITHOUT EGO

"Most people have moments when they are free of ego.  Those who are exceptionally good at what they do may be completely or largely free of ego while performing their work.  They may not know it, but their work has become a spiritual practice."

30.  p.  122  WORK---WITH AND WITHOUT EGO

"They are one with what they do, one with the Now, one with the people or the task they serve.  The influence such people have upon others goes far beyond the function they perform.  They bring about a lessening of the ego in everyone who comes into contact with them.  Even people with heavy egos sometimes begin to relax, let down their guard, and stop playing their roles when they interact with them.  It comes as no surprise that those people who work without ego are extraordinarily successful at what they do.  Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building the new earth."


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Chapter 39: The Constant Chatter In My Mind Is Not Me


I know my mind is not me.  I know the constant chatter in my head is not me.  If I do not become the watcher of my mind, my ego and pain-body analyze the past over and over and make up outrageous scenarios for the future.  They judge, criticize, compare, complain, lament, whine, degrade and take a position.

If I am present and watching what my mind is saying, I can question what is being said.  If it is not true and I recognize it, I will save myself from experiencing the emotions that go with the thoughts.  I do not want to waste time and energy trying to solve problems that have been made up by my ego or pain-body.  Staying in the present, living in the moment, has reduced the stress in my life.  For me, this has been an important part of the healing process from the disease depression. 

I learned how to change my thinking from Eckhart Tolle and his books.  I have talked about these books in many chapters of my blog.  "The Power of Now", Chapter 6, Chapter 14, Chapter 16, Chapter 18, and Chapter 19"A New Earth", Chapter 5, Chapter 6, and Chapter 19.  I don't agree with all of the concepts Eckhart Tolle teaches, but most of them I do.  Some of his beliefs do not correspond to the religious teachings I believe. I have written quite a bit about the things he taught me that have changed my life for the better.  I would also like to write about my religious beliefs that are different than his.  I will do that. =)       

There have been times in the past when a thought has come into my head that I didn't like, or wasn't consistent with what I believe.  It was awesome to learn that this type of thought came from my ego or pain-body.  The present part of me, or what I like to call my higher self, would not have a thought like that and I can dismiss it without feeling guilty about thinking it.  Being present, or in my higher self, brings more peace into my life.  I have to make a conscious effort every day to have my higher self be in charge of my life.

How Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Affect Your Health

WebMD

Reviewed by Amal Chakraburtty, MD on March 01, 2010
© 2010 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved. 

How Does Stress Affect Health?

Controlling stress is important to our health. Unrelenting stress can turn to distress. Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires a physical, mental, or emotional adjustment or response. Stress is a normal part of life. Many events that happen to you and around you -- and many things that you do to yourself -- put stress on your body. Some stress can be good. It keeps us alert, motivated, and ready to avoid danger. But too much stress can make us sick.

Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can disturb the body's internal balance or equilibrium, leading to physical symptoms such as headaches, an upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, sexual dysfunction, and problems sleeping. Emotional problems can also result from distress. These problems include depression, panic attacks, or other forms of anxiety and worry. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases. Stress is linked to six of the leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and even suicide.

Stress also becomes harmful when people engage in the compulsive use of substances or behaviors to try to relieve their stress. These substances or behaviors may include food, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, gambling, sex, shopping, and the Internet. Rather than relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state, these substances and compulsive behaviors tend to keep the body in a stressed state causing more problems. The distressed person becomes trapped in a vicious circle. 


By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on April 12, 2010  


Researchers have discovered a biological link between stress, anxiety and depression. 

Lead researcher Stephen Ferguson believes that the connecting mechanism in the brain explains how stress and anxiety could lead to depression. The study also reveals a small molecule inhibitor, developed by Ferguson, which may provide a new and better way to treat anxiety, depression and other related disorders.

The findings are published online in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

Ferguson, Ana Magalhaes and their colleagues used a behavioral mouse model and a series of molecular experiments to reveal the connection pathway and to test the new inhibitor. 

“We’ve gone from mechanism to mouse, and the next step is to see whether or not we can take the inhibitor we developed, and turn it into a pharmaceutical agent.”

The research was conducted in collaboration with Hymie Anisman at Carleton University, and funded through the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR).

“According to the World Health Organization, depression, anxiety and other related mood disorders now share the dubious distinction of being the most prevalent causes of chronic illness,” says Anthony Phillips, the scientific director of the CIHR Institute of Neurosciences, Mental Health and Addiction.

“Using the power of molecular biology, Stephen Ferguson and colleagues provide novel insights that may be the key to improving the lives of so many individuals coping with these forms of mental ill health.”

The linking mechanism in the study involves the interaction between corticotropin releasing factor receptor 1 (CRFR1) and specific types of serotonin receptors (5-HTRs).

While no one has been able to connect these two receptors on a molecular level, the study reveals that CRFR1 works to increase the number of 5-HTRs on cell surfaces in the brain, which can cause abnormal brain signaling.

Since CRFR1 activation leads to anxiety in response to stress, and 5-HTRs lead to depression, the research shows how stress, anxiety and depression pathways connect through distinct 
processes in the brain.

Most importantly, the inhibitor developed by the Ferguson lab blocks 5-HTRs in the pathway to combat anxious behavior, and potentially depression, in mice.

While major depressive disorder often occurs together with anxiety disorder in patients, the causes for both are strongly linked to stressful experiences. Stressful experiences can also make the symptoms of anxiety and depression more severe.

By discovering and then blocking a pathway responsible for the link between stress, anxiety and depression, Ferguson not only provides the first biological evidence for a connection, but he also pioneers the development of a potential drug for more effective treatment.

Genetic Link Between Stress and Depression

Study Shows People With a Genetic Mutation May Be More Likely to Develop Depression

By Jennifer Warner
WebMD Health News

Feb. 7, 2011 -- A gene that influences how the brain responds to stress may also play a key role in depression.

A new study shows people with a certain genetic mutation that causes them to produce less of the brain chemical neuropeptide Y (NPY) have a more intense negative emotional response to stress and may be more likely to develop depression than others.

Researchers found low levels of neuropeptide Y caused a stronger emotional response to negative stimuli and physiological response to pain in the brain, which may make people less resilient in the face of stress and more prone to depression.

"We've identified a biomarker -- in this case genetic variation -- that is linked with increased risk of major depression," says researcher Jon-Kar Zubieta, MD, PhD, professor of psychiatry and radiology at the University of Michigan, in a news release. "This appears to be another mechanism, independent of previous targets in depression research, such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine." 

Genetic Link to Depression

In three separate tests, researchers looked at the link between this genetic mutation and depression in 39 adults with depression and 113 healthy adults. The results are published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

First, researchers measured the amount of NPY expression in each of the participants and used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure the brain's response to positive, neutral, or negative words like "hopeful," "material," or "murderer."

The results showed people with low levels of this brain molecule had much more activity in an area of the brain associated with regulating emotions, the prefrontal cortex, than those with high levels. 

Response to Stress

In a second experiment, researchers measured the response to a stressful event involving injecting saline solution into a jaw muscle, which produces moderate pain for about 20 minutes, but no lasting harm.

The study showed those with low neuropeptide Y rated their emotional response as more negative while anticipating the event before and immediately after the event while reflecting on their experience.

"This tells us that individuals with the risk-associated NPY gene variant tend to activate this key brain region more than other people, even in the absence of stress and before psychiatric symptoms are present," says researcher Brian Mickey, MD, PhD, assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School, in the news release.
Finally, researchers found participants with this genetic variation were much more likely to have been diagnosed with depression than those without it.

"These are genetic features that can be measured in any person. We hope they can guide us toward assessing an individual's risk for developing depression and anxiety," Mickey says.

SOURCES: Mickey, B. Archives of General Psychiatry, February 2011; vol 68: pp 158-166.News release, University of Michigan Health System.

©2011 WebMD, LLC. All Rights Reserved.



I am excited about the research that may lead to new treatment options for depression.  Below is a summary of the two research articles above. 

1.  CRFR1 (corticotropin releasing factor receptor 1) works to increase the number of 5-HTRs (specific types of serotonin receptors) on cell surfaces in the brain, which can cause abnormal brain signaling.  CRFR1 activation leads to anxiety in response to stress, and 5-HTRs lead to depression.  The research shows how stress, anxiety, and depression pathways connect through distinct processes in the brain.  This is the first biological evidence for a connection between stress, anxiety, and depression.  

The small molecule inhibitor developed by the Ferguson lab blocks 5-HTRs in the pathway to combat anxious behavior, and potentially depression, in mice.  The researchers are hoping to take the inhibitor they developed, and turn it into a pharmaceutical agent.

2.  People with a genetic mutation that causes them to produce less of the brain chemical neuropeptide Y (NPY), have a more intense negative emotional response to stress and may be more likely to develop depression than others.  People with low levels of this brain molecule had much more activity in an area of the brain associated with regulating emotions, the prefrontal cortex, than those with high levels. 

Individuals with the risk-associated NPY gene variant tend to activate this key brain region more than other people, and participants with this genetic variation were much more likely to have been diagnosed with depression than those without it.  This information will help in assessing an individual's risk for developing depression and anxiety, and may lead to a way to manipulate NPY to improve depression and anxiety symptoms.

Lowering my stress levels help me manage the depression symptoms.  Regular aerobic exercise and weight training help me reduce stress.  I feel the best when I use our Cross Trainer (eliptical) every day, but that doesn't always happen.  

Changing my thinking patterns have also been a great help in lowering stress.  Eckhart Tolle teaches, "Wherever you are, be there totally.  If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:  remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.  If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now."  "The Power of Now", page 82.

What do you do to reduce your stress levels?  Does it help manage your depression symptoms?  Please share.



Sunday, August 1, 2010

Chapter 19: Effexor XR, Enlightened Relationships

I Can See a Normal Day in the Distance!

Last Wednesday I raised the dose of Effexor XR to 112.5 mg, and lowered the dose of Luvox to 25 mg two times per day.  I am feeling a shaky optimism. The changes are subtle, but I am feeling a little bit better; less fatigue, more energy, more desire to do things (especially in the late afternoon and evenings).  I'm not telling anyone but you. :)  This would be a gigantic breakthrough for me if I continue to feel more relief from my symptoms!

The disease of depression has taken a huge emotional toll on me.  Having everything in life be an effort is draining.  If you have been reading my blog, you already know I love the books, The Power of Now, and A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.  Prayer and the concepts in these books have not only helped me survive, but taught me skills that have helped with my healing.  These skills have helped me feel some happiness and joy, even though I am depressed.  I have talked about these concepts a lot in previous chapters of my blog.

The section on enlightened relationships in, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle was extremely insightful for me, and a relief.  I will explain why.

In Chapter 8, page 159, Tolle says, "Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now.  As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled.  If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.  But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.  For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness."

I talked about Tolle's definition of salvation in Chapter 18; here is a quick review.  "True salvation is fulfillment, peace, life in all its fullness.  True salvation is a state of freedom --- from fear, from suffering, from a perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therefore from all wanting, needing, grasping, and clinging."   My definition of salvation used to be having eternal life after I die.  Tolle's definition has broadened my perspective.  I believe eternal life will offer me all of the things mentioned in Tolle's definition of salvation; but I have started to feel a taste of "salvation" here on earth.  I have a strong desire to change my thinking, live in the Now, stay in my inner being or higher self, control my mind --- ego --- and pain-body, and not let the past or future be the focus of my life.  These are my goals as the depression heals.

I believe I am the only person that has the power to make me happy.  There is not a relationship in my life that can do it for me!  My relationships give me the opportunity to learn and practice the skills I mentioned above.  Tolle's teaching of these ideas was enlightening to me and a big relief. 

In Chapter 8, pages 147-148, Tolle explains, "Unless and until you access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships, and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.  They may seem perfect for a while, such as when you are "in love", but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, dissatisfaction, and emotional or even physical violence occur with increasing frequency.  It seems that most 'love relationships' become love/hate relationships before long.  Love can then turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch.  This is considered normal.

The relationship then oscillates for a while, a few months or a few years, between the polarities of 'love' and hate, and it gives you as much pleasure as it gives you pain.  It is not uncommon for couples to become addicted to those cycles.  Their drama makes them feel alive.  When a balance between the positive/negative polarities is lost and the negative, destructive cycles occur with increasing frequency and intensity, which tends to happen sooner or later, then it will not be long before the relationship finally collapses."

Page 152, . . . "Intimate relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness.  They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.  Every addiction does that.  Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever."

Page 153-154, . . . "You can change an addictive relationship into a true one by being present and intensifying your presence by taking your attention ever more deeply into the Now:  Whether you are living alone or with a partner, this remains the key.  For love to flourish, the light of your presence needs to be strong enough so that you no longer get taken over by the thinker or the pain-body and mistake them for who you are.  To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.  To disidentify from the pain-body is to bring presence into the pain and thus transmute it.  To disidentify from thinking is to be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior, especially the repetitive patterns of your mind and the roles played by the ego."

Page 160-161, "If you both agree that the relationship will be your spiritual practice, so much the better.  You can then express your thoughts and feelings to each other as soon as they occur, or as soon as a reaction comes up, so that you do not create a time gap in which an unexpressed or unacknowledged emotion or grievance can fester and grow.  Learn to give expression to what you feel without blaming.  Learn to listen to your partner in an open, nondefensive way.  Give your partner space for expressing himself or herself.  Be present.  Accusing, defending, attacking --- all those patterns that are designed to strengthen or protect the ego or to get its needs met will then become redundant.

Giving space to others --- and to yourself --- is vital.  Love cannot flourish without it.  When you have removed the two factors that are destructive to relationships --- when the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions --- and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.  Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and your unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive ego needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realization of your oneness with all that is.  This is the love that has no opposite."

What a challenge for me!




Sunday, April 11, 2010

Chapter 6: Ego, Pain-Body, Live In The Present

Freedom from the pain-body comes from realizing I have one. This knowledge helps me stay present and alert enough to notice the pain-body in myself as a flood of negative emotions. When I recognize my pain-body, it can no longer pretend to be me and live and renew itself through me.

It is possible to rise above the egoic mind and the pain-body.  I do this by living in the Now, the present.  The ego will treat the present moment as a means to an end, as an obstacle, or as an enemy.  I am able to decide what kind of a relationship I want to have with the present moment.  The present moment is inseparable from life, so I am really deciding what kind of a relationship I want to have with life.  Tolle writes, "Life is always now.  Your entire life unfolds in this constant Now.  Even past or future moments only exist when you remember or anticipate them, and you do so by thinking about them in the only moment there is:  this one."

Tolle defines awakening this way, "Awakening is a shift in consciousness in which thinking and awareness separate. . .Instead of being lost in your thinking, when you are awake you recognize yourself as the awareness behind it.  Thinking then ceases to be a self-serving autonomous activity that takes possession of you and runs your life.  Awareness takes over from thinking.  Instead of being in charge of your life, thinking becomes the servant of awareness.  Awareness is conscious connection with universal intelligence.  Another word for it is Presence:  consciousness without thought."

This is a summary of what I learned from Eckhart Tolle in, A New Earth.  I already believed I have a spirit and there is a "higher power" before I read the book.
  1. Do not believe every thought you have.  Question every thought.  Do not let your body feel the emotions from a thought that is probably not true.
  2. The incessant voice in my head comes from the ego and not my higher self.  The ego is an illusory self.
  3. The pain-body feeds on negative thoughts and produces more of them.  Be Present so you can identify the pain-body and not let it control your life very often.
  4. Live in the Now, the present.  My life is a constant unfolding of the Now.  Learn from experiences.
  5. Be aware.  Let your thinking be a servant of that awareness.  Rely even more on your "higher power" each day to help you.  You have been trying to do too much on your own.
After finishing, A New Earth, I listened to the CDs of, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.  This book goes into more detail on the information in, A New Earth.  Every day I practice controlling my thoughts.  I think this is an important part of my treatment plan for depression.  I love these two books!  :)