Chapter 41: PAIN-BODY

This is the conversation my ego (E) and pain-body (PB) had this morning with my higher self (HS).  E & PB:  "Why do we have to wash the fry pan you cooked bacon in yesterday?  It's gross, the inch of fat has been sitting over 24 hours, it stinks and it has solidified into big chunks.  We don't even like bacon.  There is a TINY bit of meat on it and the rest is fat.  Fat isn't good for you and we don't think pork is even that good for you.  Why do you even buy it?  We think some one else should wash this pan."  HS:  "I think you are making a bigger deal out of this situation than it is.  Other family members love bacon, and sometimes I do things because people I love would like it.  We don't have it very often, and I did have one piece of bacon with breakfast yesterday.  I could ask someone else to wash the pan, but I would like to get it done now so the smell of bacon doesn't last too much longer.  This is not an important issue in my life."

"The greater part of most people's thinking is involuntary, automatic, and repetitive.  It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no real purpose.  Strictly speaking, you don't think:  Thinking happens to you.  The statement 'I think' implies volition.  It implies that you have a say in the matter, that there is choice involved on your part.  For most people, this is not yet the case.  'I think' is just as false a statement as 'I digest' or 'I circulate my blood.' Digestion happens, circulation happens, thinking happens."  Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, page 129

My heart and soul now understands and believes the information in the above paragraph.  I have to work at it every day, but I am now able to "catch", or observe my ego and pain-body when they have overtaken my thinking.  Sometimes my ego seems to be in control of the conversation, sometimes my pain-body is the culprit, and sometimes they join forces and become really obnoxious.  

When my ego or pain-body are in control they tell me things that are not true, are blown out of proportion, do not agree with my higher self, and many times remind me of what a child might say.  If I do not become Present and let my higher self stop the chatter, the conversation is often repeated over and over.  What they say can cause emotions that are based on a made up story and I begin to feel sad, angry, or depressed.  Making progress in helping my higher self be in charge of my mind and thinking is helping me feel better more of the time.  It is so hard for me and I have to practice every day.  I am not implying that I don't need antidepressant medication.  Changing my thinking helps the medication be more effective.

I think these are important points to know about the pain-body.  Taken from the book, A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.

1.  p. 135  EMOTIONS AND THE EGO

"The voice in the head tells a story that the body believes in and reacts to.  Those reactions are the emotions.  The emotions, in turn, feed energy back to the thoughts that created the emotion in the first place.   This is the vicious circle between unexamined thoughts and emotions, giving rise to emotional thinking and emotional story-making."

 2.  p. 136  EMOTIONS AND THE EGO

"Almost every human body is under a great deal of strain and stress, not because it is threatened by some external factor but from within the mind.  The body has an ego attached to it, and it cannot but respond to all the dysfunctional thought patterns that make up the ego.  Thus, a stream of negative emotion accompanies the stream of incessant and compulsive thinking."

 3.  p. 140  CARRYING THE PAST

"Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call "the pain-body." 

 4.  p. 141  CARRYING THE PAST

"We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than be caught up in mental movie-making.  Our very Presence then becomes our identity, rather than our thoughts and emotions.

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?"

 5.  p. 142  INDIVIDUAL AND COLLECTIVE

"The remnants of pain left behind by every strong negative emotion that is not fully faced, accepted, and then let go of join together to form an energy field that lives in the very cells of your body.  It consists not just of childhood pain, but also painful emotions that were added to it later in adolescence and during your adult life, much of it created by the voice of the ego.  It is the emotional pain that is your unavoidable companion when a false sense of self is the basis of your life.

This energy field of old but sill very-much-alive emotion that lives in almost every human being is the pain-body."

 6.  p.142-143  INDIVIDUAL AND COLLECTIVE

"The pain-body, however, is not just individual in nature.  It also partakes of the pain suffered by countless humans throughout the history of humanity, which is a history of continuous tribal warfare, of enslavement, pillage, rape, torture, and other forms of violence.  This pain still lives in the collective psyche of humanity and is being added to on a daily basis, as you can verify when you watch the news tonight or look at the drama in people's lives."

7.  p. 144-145  HOW THE PAIN-BODY RENEWS ITSELF

"Any emotionally painful experience can be used as food by the pain-body.  That's why it thrives on negative thinking as well as drama in relationships.  The pain-body is an addiction to unhappiness.

In most people, the pain-body has a dormant and an active stage.  When it is dormant, you easily forget that you carry a heavy dark cloud or a dormant volcano inside you, depending on the energy field of your particular pain-body.  How long it remains dormant varies from person to person:  A few weeks is the most common, but it can be a few days or months.  In rare cases the pain-body can lie in hibernation for years before it gets triggered by some event."

 8.  p. 147  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON YOUR THOUGHTS

"Emotion from the pain-body quickly gains control of your thinking, and once your mind has been taken over by the pain-body, your thinking becomes negative.  The voice in your head will be telling sad, anxious, or angry stories about yourself or your life, about other people, about past, future, or imaginary events.  The voice will be blaming, accusing, complaining, imagining.  And you are totally identified with whatever the voice says, believe all its distorted thoughts.  At that point, the addiction to unhappiness has set in."

 9.  p. 148  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON DRAMA

"If there are other people around, preferably your partner or a close family member, the pain-body will attempt to provoke them---bush their buttons, as the expression goes---so it can feed on the ensuing drama.  Pain-bodies love intimate relationships and families because that is where they get most of their food."

10.  p. 149  HOW THE PAIN-BODY FEEDS ON DRAMA

"A deeply unconscious person whose pain-body habitually replenishes itself through physical violence often directs it toward his spouse or children. . . he is truly sorry and may say he will never do this again, and he means it.  The person who is talking and making promises, however, is not the entity that commits the violence, and so you can be sure that it will happen again and again unless he becomes present, recognizes the pain-body within himself, and thus disidentifies from it.  In some cases, counseling can help him do that."

11.  p. 151  DENSE PAIN-BODIES

"Some people carry dense pain-bodies that are never completely dormant.  They may be smiling and making polite conversation, but you do not need to be psychic to sense that seething ball of unhappy emotion in them just underneath the surface, waiting for the next event to react to, the next person to blame or confront, the next thing to be unhappy about.  Their pain-bodies can never get enough, are always hungry.  They magnify the ego's need for enemies."

12.  p. 153  ENTERTAINMENT, THE MEDIA, AND THE PAIN-BODY

"Why do violent films attract such large audiences?  There is an entire industry, a large part of which fuels the human addiction to unhappiness.  People obviously watch those films because they want to feel bad.  What is it in humans that loves to feel bad and calls it good?  The pain-body of course.  A large part of the entertainment industry caters to it.  So, in addition to reactivity, negative thinking, and personal drama, the pain-body also renews itself vicariously through the cinema and television screen.  Pain-bodies write and produce these films, and pain-bodies pay to watch them."

13.  p. 153-154  ENTERTAINMENT, THE MEDIA, AND THE PAIN-BODY

"If films show violence in its wider context, if they show its origin and its consequences, show what it does to the victim as well as the perpetrator, show the collective unconsciousness that lies behind it and is passed on from generation to generation (the anger and hatred that lives in humans as the pain-body), them those films can fulfill a vital function in the the awakening of humanity.

Such films do exist and they do not fuel the pain-body.  Some of the best antiwar films are films that show the reality of war rather than a glamorized version of it.  The pain-body can only feed on films in which violence is portrayed as normal or even desirable human behavior, or that glorify violence with the sole purpose of generating negative emotion in the viewer and so become a 'fix' for the pain-addicted pain-body."

14.  p. 155  THE COLLECTIVE FEMALE PAIN-BODY

"Nobody knows the exact figure because records were not kept, but is seems certain that during a three-hundred-year period between three and five million women were tortured and killed by the "Holy Inquisition," an institution founded by the Roman Catholic Church to suppress heresy. This surely ranks together with the Holocaust as one of the darkest chapters in human history.  It was enough for a woman to show love for animals, walk alone in the fields or woods, or gather medicinal plants to be branded a witch, then tortured and burned at the stake.  The sacred feminine was declared demonic, and an entire dimension largely disappeared from human experience."

15.  p. 156  THE COLLECTIVE FEMALE PAIN-BODY

"What is it that suddenly made men feel threatened by the female?  The evolving ego in them.  It knew it could gain full control of our planet only through the male form, and to do so, it had to render the female powerless.

In time, the ego also took over most women, although it could never become as deeply entrenched in them as in men."

16.  p. 157  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"Certain countries in which many acts of collective violence were suffered or perpetrated have a heavier collective pain-body than others.  This is why older nations tend to have stronger pain-bodies.  It is also why younger countries, such as Canada or Australia, and those that have remained more sheltered from the surrounding madness, such as Switzerland, tend to have lighter collective pain-bodies.  Of course, in those countries, people still have their personal pain-body to deal with."

17.  p. 158-159  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"Spiritual practices that involve the physical body, such as t'ai chi, qigong, and yoga, are also increasingly being embraced in the Western world.  These practices do not create a separation between body and spirit and are helpful in weakening the pain-body.  They will play an important role in the global awakening."

18.  p. 159-160  NATIONAL AND RACIAL PAIN-BODIES

"It doesn't really matter what proportion of your pain-body belongs to your nation or race and what proportion is personal.  In either case, you can only go beyond it by taking responsibility for your inner state now.  Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding the pain-body with your thoughts and remain trapped in your ego.  There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet:  human unconsciousness.  That realization is true forgiveness.  With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges---the power of Presence.  Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light."

Chapter 39: The Constant Chatter In My Mind Is Not Me

I know my mind is not me.  I know the constant chatter in my head is not me.  If I do not become the watcher of my mind, my ego and pain-body analyze the past over and over and make up outrageous scenarios for the future.  They judge, criticize, compare, complain, lament, whine, degrade and take a position.

If I am present and watching what my mind is saying, I can question what is being said.  If it is not true and I recognize it, I will save myself from experiencing the emotions that go with the thoughts.  I do not want to waste time and energy trying to solve problems that have been made up by my ego or pain-body.  Staying in the present, living in the moment, has reduced the stress in my life.  For me, this has been an important part of the healing process from the disease depression. 

I learned how to change my thinking from Eckhart Tolle and his books.  I have talked about these books in many chapters of my blog.  "The Power of Now", Chapter 6, Chapter 14, Chapter 16, Chapter 18, and Chapter 19.  "A New Earth", Chapter 5, Chapter 6, and Chapter 19.  I don't agree with all of the concepts Eckhart Tolle teaches, but most of them I do.  Some of his beliefs do not correspond to the religious teachings I believe. I have written quite a bit about the things he taught me that have changed my life for the better.  I would also like to write about my religious beliefs that are different than his.  I will do that. =)       

There have been times in the past when a thought has come into my head that I didn't like, or wasn't consistent with what I believe.  It was awesome to learn that this type of thought came from my ego or pain-body.  The present part of me, or what I like to call my higher self, would not have a thought like that and I can dismiss it without feeling guilty about thinking it.  Being present, or in my higher self, brings more peace into my life.  I have to make a conscious effort every day to have my higher self be in charge of my life.

How Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Affect Your Health

WebMD

Reviewed by Amal Chakraburtty, MD on March 01, 2010

© 2010 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved. 

How Does Stress Affect Health?

Controlling stress is important to our health. Unrelenting stress can turn to distress. Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires a physical, mental, or emotional adjustment or response. Stress is a normal part of life. Many events that happen to you and around you -- and many things that you do to yourself -- put stress on your body. Some stress can be good. It keeps us alert, motivated, and ready to avoid danger. But too much stress can make us sick.

Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can disturb the body's internal balance or equilibrium, leading to physical symptoms such as headaches, an upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, sexual dysfunction, and problems sleeping. Emotional problems can also result from distress. These problems include depression, panic attacks, or other forms of anxiety and worry. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases. Stress is linked to six of the leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and even suicide.

Stress also becomes harmful when people engage in the compulsive use of substances or behaviors to try to relieve their stress. These substances or behaviors may include food, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, gambling, sex, shopping, and the Internet. Rather than relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state, these substances and compulsive behaviors tend to keep the body in a stressed state causing more problems. The distressed person becomes trapped in a vicious circle. 

Link between Stress, Anxiety, Depression 

By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on April 12, 2010  

PsychCentral

Source: University of Western Ontario

Researchers have discovered a biological link between stress, anxiety and depression. 

Lead researcher Stephen Ferguson believes that the connecting mechanism in the brain explains how stress and anxiety could lead to depression. The study also reveals a small molecule inhibitor, developed by Ferguson, which may provide a new and better way to treat anxiety, depression and other related disorders.

The findings are published online in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

Ferguson, Ana Magalhaes and their colleagues used a behavioral mouse model and a series of molecular experiments to reveal the connection pathway and to test the new inhibitor. 

“We’ve gone from mechanism to mouse, and the next step is to see whether or not we can take the inhibitor we developed, and turn it into a pharmaceutical agent.”

The research was conducted in collaboration with Hymie Anisman at Carleton University, and funded through the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR).

“According to the World Health Organization, depression, anxiety and other related mood disorders now share the dubious distinction of being the most prevalent causes of chronic illness,” says Anthony Phillips, the scientific director of the CIHR Institute of Neurosciences, Mental Health and Addiction.

“Using the power of molecular biology, Stephen Ferguson and colleagues provide novel insights that may be the key to improving the lives of so many individuals coping with these forms of mental ill health.”

The linking mechanism in the study involves the interaction between corticotropin releasing factor receptor 1 (CRFR1) and specific types of serotonin receptors (5-HTRs).

While no one has been able to connect these two receptors on a molecular level, the study reveals that CRFR1 works to increase the number of 5-HTRs on cell surfaces in the brain, which can cause abnormal brain signaling.

Since CRFR1 activation leads to anxiety in response to stress, and 5-HTRs lead to depression, the research shows how stress, anxiety and depression pathways connect through distinct 

processes in the brain.

Most importantly, the inhibitor developed by the Ferguson lab blocks 5-HTRs in the pathway to combat anxious behavior, and potentially depression, in mice.

While major depressive disorder often occurs together with anxiety disorder in patients, the causes for both are strongly linked to stressful experiences. Stressful experiences can also make the symptoms of anxiety and depression more severe.

By discovering and then blocking a pathway responsible for the link between stress, anxiety and depression, Ferguson not only provides the first biological evidence for a connection, but he also pioneers the development of a potential drug for more effective treatment.

Genetic Link Between Stress and Depression

Study Shows People With a Genetic Mutation May Be More Likely to Develop Depression

By Jennifer Warner
WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD

Feb. 7, 2011 -- A gene that influences how the brain responds to stress may also play a key role in depression.

A new study shows people with a certain genetic mutation that causes them to produce less of the brain chemical neuropeptide Y (NPY) have a more intense negative emotional response to stress and may be more likely to develop depression than others.

Researchers found low levels of neuropeptide Y caused a stronger emotional response to negative stimuli and physiological response to pain in the brain, which may make people less resilient in the face of stress and more prone to depression.

"We've identified a biomarker -- in this case genetic variation -- that is linked with increased risk of major depression," says researcher Jon-Kar Zubieta, MD, PhD, professor of psychiatry and radiology at the University of Michigan, in a news release. "This appears to be another mechanism, independent of previous targets in depression research, such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine." 

Genetic Link to Depression

In three separate tests, researchers looked at the link between this genetic mutation and depression in 39 adults with depression and 113 healthy adults. The results are published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.

First, researchers measured the amount of NPY expression in each of the participants and used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to measure the brain's response to positive, neutral, or negative words like "hopeful," "material," or "murderer."

The results showed people with low levels of this brain molecule had much more activity in an area of the brain associated with regulating emotions, the prefrontal cortex, than those with high levels. 

Response to Stress

In a second experiment, researchers measured the response to a stressful event involving injecting saline solution into a jaw muscle, which produces moderate pain for about 20 minutes, but no lasting harm.

The study showed those with low neuropeptide Y rated their emotional response as more negative while anticipating the event before and immediately after the event while reflecting on their experience.

"This tells us that individuals with the risk-associated NPY gene variant tend to activate this key brain region more than other people, even in the absence of stress and before psychiatric symptoms are present," says researcher Brian Mickey, MD, PhD, assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School, in the news release.

Finally, researchers found participants with this genetic variation were much more likely to have been diagnosed with depression than those without it.

"These are genetic features that can be measured in any person. We hope they can guide us toward assessing an individual's risk for developing depression and anxiety," Mickey says.

SOURCES: Mickey, B. Archives of General Psychiatry, February 2011; vol 68: pp 158-166.News release, University of Michigan Health System.

©2011 WebMD, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

I am excited about the research that may lead to new treatment options for depression.  Below is a summary of the two research articles above. 

1.  CRFR1 (corticotropin releasing factor receptor 1) works to increase the number of 5-HTRs (specific types of serotonin receptors) on cell surfaces in the brain, which can cause abnormal brain signaling.  CRFR1 activation leads to anxiety in response to stress, and 5-HTRs lead to depression.  The research shows how stress, anxiety, and depression pathways connect through distinct processes in the brain.  This is the first biological evidence for a connection between stress, anxiety, and depression.  

The small molecule inhibitor developed by the Ferguson lab blocks 5-HTRs in the pathway to combat anxious behavior, and potentially depression, in mice.  The researchers are hoping to take the inhibitor they developed, and turn it into a pharmaceutical agent.

2.  People with a genetic mutation that causes them to produce less of the brain chemical neuropeptide Y (NPY), have a more intense negative emotional response to stress and may be more likely to develop depression than others.  People with low levels of this brain molecule had much more activity in an area of the brain associated with regulating emotions, the prefrontal cortex, than those with high levels. 

Individuals with the risk-associated NPY gene variant tend to activate this key brain region more than other people, and participants with this genetic variation were much more likely to have been diagnosed with depression than those without it.  This information will help in assessing an individual's risk for developing depression and anxiety, and may lead to a way to manipulate NPY to improve depression and anxiety symptoms.

Lowering my stress levels help me manage the depression symptoms.  Regular aerobic exercise and weight training help me reduce stress.  I feel the best when I use our Cross Trainer (eliptical) every day, but that doesn't always happen.  

Changing my thinking patterns have also been a great help in lowering stress.  Eckhart Tolle teaches, "Wherever you are, be there totally.  If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:  remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.  If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now."  "The Power of Now", page 82.

What do you do to reduce your stress levels?  Does it help manage your depression symptoms?  Please share.

Chapter 19: Effexor XR, Enlightened Relationships

I Can See a Normal Day in the Distance!

Last Wednesday I raised the dose of Effexor XR to 112.5 mg, and lowered the dose of Luvox to 25 mg two times per day.  I am feeling a shaky optimism. The changes are subtle, but I am feeling a little bit better; less fatigue, more energy, more desire to do things (especially in the late afternoon and evenings).  I'm not telling anyone but you. :)  This would be a gigantic breakthrough for me if I continue to feel more relief from my symptoms!

The disease of depression has taken a huge emotional toll on me.  Having everything in life be an effort is draining.  If you have been reading my blog, you already know I love the books, The Power of Now, and A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle.  Prayer and the concepts in these books have not only helped me survive, but taught me skills that have helped with my healing.  These skills have helped me feel some happiness and joy, even though I am depressed.  I have talked about these concepts a lot in previous chapters of my blog.

The section on enlightened relationships in, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle was extremely insightful for me, and a relief.  I will explain why.

In Chapter 8, page 159, Tolle says, "Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now.  As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled.  If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.  But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.  For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness."

I talked about Tolle's definition of salvation in Chapter 18; here is a quick review.  "True salvation is fulfillment, peace, life in all its fullness.  True salvation is a state of freedom --- from fear, from suffering, from a perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therefore from all wanting, needing, grasping, and clinging."   My definition of salvation used to be having eternal life after I die.  Tolle's definition has broadened my perspective.  I believe eternal life will offer me all of the things mentioned in Tolle's definition of salvation; but I have started to feel a taste of "salvation" here on earth.  I have a strong desire to change my thinking, live in the Now, stay in my inner being or higher self, control my mind --- ego --- and pain-body, and not let the past or future be the focus of my life.  These are my goals as the depression heals.

I believe I am the only person that has the power to make me happy.  There is not a relationship in my life that can do it for me!  My relationships give me the opportunity to learn and practice the skills I mentioned above.  Tolle's teaching of these ideas was enlightening to me and a big relief. 

In Chapter 8, pages 147-148, Tolle explains, "Unless and until you access the consciousness frequency of presence, all relationships, and particularly intimate relationships, are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional.  They may seem perfect for a while, such as when you are "in love", but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, dissatisfaction, and emotional or even physical violence occur with increasing frequency.  It seems that most 'love relationships' become love/hate relationships before long.  Love can then turn into savage attack, feelings of hostility, or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch.  This is considered normal.

The relationship then oscillates for a while, a few months or a few years, between the polarities of 'love' and hate, and it gives you as much pleasure as it gives you pain.  It is not uncommon for couples to become addicted to those cycles.  Their drama makes them feel alive.  When a balance between the positive/negative polarities is lost and the negative, destructive cycles occur with increasing frequency and intensity, which tends to happen sooner or later, then it will not be long before the relationship finally collapses."

Page 152, . . . "Intimate relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness.  They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.  Every addiction does that.  Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever."

Page 153-154, . . . "You can change an addictive relationship into a true one by being present and intensifying your presence by taking your attention ever more deeply into the Now:  Whether you are living alone or with a partner, this remains the key.  For love to flourish, the light of your presence needs to be strong enough so that you no longer get taken over by the thinker or the pain-body and mistake them for who you are.  To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.  To disidentify from the pain-body is to bring presence into the pain and thus transmute it.  To disidentify from thinking is to be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior, especially the repetitive patterns of your mind and the roles played by the ego."

Page 160-161, "If you both agree that the relationship will be your spiritual practice, so much the better.  You can then express your thoughts and feelings to each other as soon as they occur, or as soon as a reaction comes up, so that you do not create a time gap in which an unexpressed or unacknowledged emotion or grievance can fester and grow.  Learn to give expression to what you feel without blaming.  Learn to listen to your partner in an open, nondefensive way.  Give your partner space for expressing himself or herself.  Be present.  Accusing, defending, attacking --- all those patterns that are designed to strengthen or protect the ego or to get its needs met will then become redundant.

Giving space to others --- and to yourself --- is vital.  Love cannot flourish without it.  When you have removed the two factors that are destructive to relationships --- when the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions --- and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.  Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and your unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive ego needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realization of your oneness with all that is.  This is the love that has no opposite."

What a challenge for me!

Chapter 6: Ego, Pain-Body, Live In The Present

Freedom from the pain-body comes from realizing I have one. This knowledge helps me stay present and alert enough to notice the pain-body in myself as a flood of negative emotions. When I recognize my pain-body, it can no longer pretend to be me and live and renew itself through me.

It is possible to rise above the egoic mind and the pain-body.  I do this by living in the Now, the present.  The ego will treat the present moment as a means to an end, as an obstacle, or as an enemy.  I am able to decide what kind of a relationship I want to have with the present moment.  The present moment is inseparable from life, so I am really deciding what kind of a relationship I want to have with life.  Tolle writes, "Life is always now.  Your entire life unfolds in this constant Now.  Even past or future moments only exist when you remember or anticipate them, and you do so by thinking about them in the only moment there is:  this one."

Tolle defines awakening this way, "Awakening is a shift in consciousness in which thinking and awareness separate. . .Instead of being lost in your thinking, when you are awake you recognize yourself as the awareness behind it.  Thinking then ceases to be a self-serving autonomous activity that takes possession of you and runs your life.  Awareness takes over from thinking.  Instead of being in charge of your life, thinking becomes the servant of awareness.  Awareness is conscious connection with universal intelligence.  Another word for it is Presence:  consciousness without thought."

This is a summary of what I learned from Eckhart Tolle in, A New Earth.  I already believed I have a spirit and there is a "higher power" before I read the book.

1. Do not believe every thought you have.  Question every thought.  Do not let your body feel the emotions from a thought that is probably not true.
2. The incessant voice in my head comes from the ego and not my higher self.  The ego is an illusory self.
3. The pain-body feeds on negative thoughts and produces more of them.  Be Present so you can identify the pain-body and not let it control your life very often.
4. Live in the Now, the present.  My life is a constant unfolding of the Now.  Learn from experiences.
5. Be aware.  Let your thinking be a servant of that awareness.  Rely even more on your "higher power" each day to help you.  You have been trying to do too much on your own.

After finishing, A New Earth, I listened to the CDs of, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.  This book goes into more detail on the information in, A New Earth.  Every day I practice controlling my thoughts.  I think this is an important part of my treatment plan for depression.  I love these two books!  :)

Chapter 5: A New Earth, Changing The Way I Think

About this time, I started listening to the CDs of, A New Earth; Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle. The things I learned in this book helped me change the way I think. I had this book several years before I read it. I first heard about it when it was one of Oprah's Book Club Books.

Changing the way I think, changed my life.  In a section titled, THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK, Eckhart Tolle questions if humanity is ready for a transformation of consciousness.  He asks, "Can they defy the gravitational pull of materialism and materiality and rise above identification with form that keeps the ego in place and condemns them to imprisonment within their own personality?"  He believes the possibility of such a transformation has been the central message of Buddha, Jesus, and others.

The author states, "This book's main purpose is not to add new information or beliefs to your mind or to try to convince you of anything, but to bring about a shift in consciousness, that is to say, to awaken.  In that sense, this book is not 'interesting'.  Interesting means you can keep your distance, play around with ideas and concepts in your mind, agree or disagree.  This book is about you.  It will change your state of consciousness or it will be meaningless."

This book had meaning for me.  I learned the ego is an illusory sense of self that becomes the basis for misinterpretations of reality, thought processes, interactions, and relationships.  If I can recognize illusion as illusion, it dissolves.  The egoic mind is the incessant voice in my head, the stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it.  These thoughts are often not true, but if I don't question them I will feel the emotions the thoughts evoke.  Jean-Paul Sartre said, "The consciousness that says 'I am' is not the consciousness that thinks."

Learning about the pain-body was especially interesting to me.  Eckhart Tolle describes it this way, "The pain-body is a semiautonomous energy-form that lives within most human beings, an entity made up of emotion.  It has its own primitive intelligence, not unlike a cunning animal, and its intelligence is directed primarily at survival.  Like all life-forms it periodically needs to feed---to take in new energy---and the food it requires to replenish itself consists of energy that is compatible with its own. . .Any emotionally painful experience can be used as food by the pain-body.  That's why is thrives on negative thinking as well as drama in relationships.  The pain-body is an addiction to unhappiness."